True Story

This morning I jumped on my horse
And I went out for a ride,
And some wild outlaws chased me
And they shot me in the side.
So I crawled into a wild cat's cave
To find a place to hide,
But some pirates found me sleeping there,
And soon they had me tied
To a pole and built a fire
Under me - I almost cried
Till a mermaid came and cut me loose
And begged to be my bride,
So I said I'd come back Wednesday
But I must admit I lied.
Then I ran into a jungle swamp
But I forgot my guide
And I stepped into some quicksand,
And no matter how I tried
I couldn't get out, until I met
A water snake named Clyde,
Who pulled me into some cannibals
Who planned to have me fried.
But an eagle came and swooped me p
And through the air we flied,
But he dropped me in a boiling lake
A thousand miles wide.
And you'll never guess what I did then -
I DIED.