Life Changes

So I'm sitting here making breakfast in my new kitchen thinking about how everything is so different now. Different from last month, and different from when this blog started. Life has changed, big time.

And though I haven't been on here that much, I think I might make more regular appearances now that there is a little bit more free time in my life. And maybe, just maybe, change some stuff up on the blog, too...maybe...

we have longer than what the calendar says...right?

We've barely started summer and already I'm realizing how quickly certain things are approaching. In June we had two weddings in one weekend to plan for and look forward to.  Two weeks later we celebrated fourth of July...though I still feel like that shouldn't have happened for another couple of weeks. This Sunday I anticipate hopping on a plane by my lonesome and heading out west where I get to spend the next week driving back east with my dear heart as we move him from a-school to duty station. Once we're back on the east coast there will only be 6 more weeks until our big day.

And just like that, the realization of just how little time we have left is hitting me hard. The anticipation of getting on a plane by myself (I'm not a huge fan of flying) is giving me a little anxiety...but I know for a fact that my prize at the end of about 9hrs of traveling is worth it's weight 10X over in gold. And the experience of driving across the country is one that I have always wanted to have, and will remember for the rest of my life! And honestly, how can I complain when I'll have his company all to myself for about a week. These will be the last moments we get to spend with one another before another short separation, followed by the hoopla of family descending upon our houses and wedding craziness and then moving craziness.

My brain is a little on overload right now. Anticipating things such as finishing up at my job and leaving them down one stylist in a very busy salon, putting the finishing touches to all the wedding plans and wondering if we're ever gonna fully be done, getting through the wedding, and then moving my whole entire life down Cape Hatteras, NC.

To their credit, some members of my family are pretty good at consoling me when i'm on the verge of an overload. But the only person who I really want to be consoled by, and who really can calm me down completely, is on crazy schedules making him mostly unreachable by phone during most of the day, and very much so out of my arms reach all the time.

I find myself missing silly little things like getting ice cream or driving to wendy's at 12:30am with him, and watching miscellaneous sitcoms we stumble upon and becoming die hard fans! I miss just driving do mundane places like the grocery store, with my feet on the dash and singing along to silly songs. Basically, I miss life with my best friend, and as we get closer and closer to our big day, it gets harder and harder in the "I miss you " department.
Like when you start to picture your significant other as your phone...oops.

60 more days, and counting!!!!

Time didn't stop...

Yesterday we were up before 5:00am so that we could drop off our Coastie at the airport. Poor guy was supposed to land in Portland around noon(their time. about 3 our time) but got stuck in chicago for like 2hours while they changed a tire on his plane. 

I started my summer with goodbyes and tears, and I ended it the same way. Gregory if off on the complete opposite side of the country, getting ready to sail up and down from Alaska to South America and all over, and this will be his life for the next 9mo or so until he leaves for a-school. I really am very excited for him and this grand new adventure. So much of this new chapter is still a bit of a mystery to him. A lot of questions have been answered with "I don't know yet." "They can't tell me." "I'll find out when I get there."  And the questions keep coming! Only now that G's gone they are all asked of me to answer on his behalf....and I have no clue.   

I feel barraged and smothered with inquiries from both people who are not close but just curious, and my own family members. No words have been exchanged between us in over 15hrs, and I'm not even sure when they will be.  I can not guarantee that the next person to ask me when I'm moving to Astoria, OR, or when I'm getting married will not be punched in the face...or cried at. or both.  I'm an emotional time bomb who hasn't yet had a chance to cry this time...so watch out. 

Puddle Pirate Update

Today, Alpha 190 is nearly half way through week 05. Their latest update, , has been tough but looking up as the recruits have had a higher bar set for them by their CC's and have set the bar higher for themselves as a company as well. It seems they are striving to be a unit and not a bunch of individuals. Going back over past updates it is clear that even though they still have a ways to go and grow, they have coma a far way. Everyday I miss my puddle pirate a bit more, and every day I wake up knowing there are fewer days between us and graduation. In the letter I received last week he mentioned that when we watch him graduate he must maintain a professional military persona during the tour of the facilities and everything that follows. There will be no more than brief hello hugs until we are loading ourselves into cars to drive back home. I will be so happy just to see him graduate after months of missing his handsome face, but knowing that I can't smooch him like a wild woman until very long after we have departed Cape May, is gong to drive me bonkers. Even then, finding time when I am not sharing him with his family and friends will be very difficult, but I am determined to make that happen as much as possible. 

Twenty-Three-More-Days

"I have been in the Coast Guard all me bloomin' life. My father was King Neptune, my mother was a mermaid. I was born on the crest of a wave and rocked in the cradle of the deep. My eyes are stars, me teeth are spars, me hair is hemp and seaweed. When I spits, I spits tar, I's tough, I is, I am, I are!!"

-A-190's week04 Mantra, as given to them by Chief Arseneaux 

I always joked I'd end up with a "Pirate"

"SR Logan, G. A-190"

My "Puddle Pirate", as they're sometimes called, is finishing up week 03 of boot camp. The days drag on, but the weeks fly by. How does that work? I have no clue. But we're nearing the 1/2 way mark. Only 35 more days until the graduation ceremony.  Every week or so a recruit from each company writes a short blog post on the events and progress they have been experiencing, as well as stress and yelling. Here is where you can read all about G's company, Alpha 190, and the latest "adventures", or misadventures, they are having. This is just the first post...I don't know how these guys get through this...I certainly would never be brave enough, and I am incredibly thankful for them.

Thirty. Five. More. Days.

A pirate's life for me...sorta...

It amazes me the connection between one's stomach and emotions.  Thankfully I've never been a stress eater. I don't binge on comfort food when I'm sad or lonely, or eat a bag of chips and other various junkies when I'm bored. I'd say that's a pro. The con, however, is that I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. When I'm stressed, sad, or lonely I don't eat at all. My appetite vanishes completely and is instead replaced with imaginary feelings of sickness. Unfortunately, as I finish up week Two of Eight of waiting for my Coastie to graduate boot camp, my appetite hasn't returned. I'm forcing myself to eat. I get excited when I realize that I'm actually hungry but after just a couple bites I feel like I can't eat anymore. (Just so you know, I am not one to usually pass on an opportunity of being fed, so this is an unwelcome circumstance) I am actually a wee bit scared that my desire for food won't come back until I can om-nom a cheeseburger while sitting next to my beloved.  I actually am recalling a line from POTC #1: 

"The drink would not satisfy, food turned to ash in our mouths..." -

-Captain Barbossa 

That's...pretty much it. Everyone tells me that these bootcamp weeks will fly by...and when looking back on these last two weeks, I'm not sure where they went. But it's living through the weeks that seems to drag on. I'm not angry he's gone. If anything I feel guilty and selfish for wanting him to come back now, or to have never left. I keep reminding myself that this is a good thing. This is a challenge, one that we will get through and come out of stronger at the end. 39 more days. I can do this. I'm just gonna set mini goals to make the weeks ly and give myself little projects to work on and look forward to. Who knows, maybe i'll make this one of those projects. 

Sigh...39 more days...