I'm going on an adventure

Hey guys,
for those who are still following me somewhat, I am pretty much moving over to a different  location. You can continue to follow the adventures of my life as I adapt to being a wife, a kitty mother, a crafter, coffee drinker, and island explorer on my new blog: http://coffeegrindgirl.blogspot.com
Hope to see you there.

Life Changes

So I'm sitting here making breakfast in my new kitchen thinking about how everything is so different now. Different from last month, and different from when this blog started. Life has changed, big time.

And though I haven't been on here that much, I think I might make more regular appearances now that there is a little bit more free time in my life. And maybe, just maybe, change some stuff up on the blog, too...maybe...

By the Sea Mr. Todd...

The "Honeymoon" is officially over. This morning the alarm went off at 5am. The work blues, boots, and hat went on and at 5:08 I found myself alone in a dark house that still doesn't feel like home... So dark, so empty, so...quiet...
I tossed and turned a bit until my restless sleep could hold me no longer and finally I left our very empty bed around 8.
It's only been2 days since we officially planted ourselves in Hatteras, and I think I've exhausted the laundry, and the dishwasher. There's a feeling of unrest. We brought just a few things from the wedding with us since we have to move out of our apartment in November and figured the less to move so soon, the better. Because of that it's hard to make this place as cozy and home-like as possible...but we're getting there.
Simply putting on familiar bedding that you actually like certainly makes a difference. We brought a lot of kitchen stuff and having pops of color and gadgets you can call your own makes a place seem familiar, too. I'm itching to get rid of the ugly, boxy, uncomfortable furniture in the rental's living room. There's nothing pleasant or inviting about the scratchy blue fabric and thin cushions on the couch... or the white, plastic, armed chairs around the kitchen table...

I'll say that I will miss the view from our back porch. Our rental is one of the last on the street, and therefore a bit more secluded. There are no houses behind us, just the old abandoned Coast Guard Station, and a clear view of the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse the shines rhythmically in the dark.  These things I think I'll miss.

Soon, G and I will take a trip to Elizabeth City and get me a Military ID and make everything super official. And if I can manage it, a trip to the OBX SPCA...otherwise there might be some reports by all of our neighbors about missing dogs...(I might be very dog-snuggle deprived right now...and have also seen a fb post saying they have 6 aussie sheepdog/lab mix puppies...my heart can't even right now)

I always joked I'd end up with a "Pirate"

"SR Logan, G. A-190"

My "Puddle Pirate", as they're sometimes called, is finishing up week 03 of boot camp. The days drag on, but the weeks fly by. How does that work? I have no clue. But we're nearing the 1/2 way mark. Only 35 more days until the graduation ceremony.  Every week or so a recruit from each company writes a short blog post on the events and progress they have been experiencing, as well as stress and yelling. Here is where you can read all about G's company, Alpha 190, and the latest "adventures", or misadventures, they are having. This is just the first post...I don't know how these guys get through this...I certainly would never be brave enough, and I am incredibly thankful for them.

Thirty. Five. More. Days.

A pirate's life for me...sorta...

It amazes me the connection between one's stomach and emotions.  Thankfully I've never been a stress eater. I don't binge on comfort food when I'm sad or lonely, or eat a bag of chips and other various junkies when I'm bored. I'd say that's a pro. The con, however, is that I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. When I'm stressed, sad, or lonely I don't eat at all. My appetite vanishes completely and is instead replaced with imaginary feelings of sickness. Unfortunately, as I finish up week Two of Eight of waiting for my Coastie to graduate boot camp, my appetite hasn't returned. I'm forcing myself to eat. I get excited when I realize that I'm actually hungry but after just a couple bites I feel like I can't eat anymore. (Just so you know, I am not one to usually pass on an opportunity of being fed, so this is an unwelcome circumstance) I am actually a wee bit scared that my desire for food won't come back until I can om-nom a cheeseburger while sitting next to my beloved.  I actually am recalling a line from POTC #1: 

"The drink would not satisfy, food turned to ash in our mouths..." -

-Captain Barbossa 

That's...pretty much it. Everyone tells me that these bootcamp weeks will fly by...and when looking back on these last two weeks, I'm not sure where they went. But it's living through the weeks that seems to drag on. I'm not angry he's gone. If anything I feel guilty and selfish for wanting him to come back now, or to have never left. I keep reminding myself that this is a good thing. This is a challenge, one that we will get through and come out of stronger at the end. 39 more days. I can do this. I'm just gonna set mini goals to make the weeks ly and give myself little projects to work on and look forward to. Who knows, maybe i'll make this one of those projects. 

Sigh...39 more days...

Now that she's back in the atmosphere...

Well, I'm back. And boy, what a trip...

It was an adventure. I relaxed. I ran around. Had some nice late night talks curled up at the kitchen table with a mug of tea. Had some crazy days spent hurrying here and there, never staying in the same place for more than a couple hours. I hung out with old friends, feeling like family. I met crazy awesome new people. I spent about 50 hours of my life on a train and am now pretty familiar with Amtrak...there and back I had a lay over in Chicago, and so was privileged to roam around the beautiful Windy City with 3 amazing dudes.

I left with little expectations, hoping to maybe just quiet my soul, listen to God, and visit my friends...and if God happened to nudge me in any direction, that would be awesome too.
I returned with a lot to think about.
While I was there opportunities arose. Internships came up. Chances to shadow at salons. As well as missions opportunities.

And ever since I got back a feeling has been growing in me...something that's always been there that now is spreading. I've never really been able to describe it, and it's frustrating. But the other night I was having a conversation with one of my best friends. One of those conversations that fall under the "If I don't get out of here soon I'll be stuck here for the rest of my life, that I don't know what I'm doing with anyways" category...I'm sure you have those all the time...

We talked about jobs. We talked about monotonous life. We talked about restlessness...We talked about senioritis.


Finally I tried to put this feeling that I had into words and it came out like this:

"...Do you ever get that feeling like...let's see if I can describe it - 

like, you were made for something more? That growing up, finishing school and getting a job and routine just wasn't what was intended for you? That you were created, not for something mundane and monotonous, but for something truly breathtaking and extraordinary? Cause...that seems to be how I feel. And like that desire for the extraordinary is trying to claw it's way out...like it's suffocating at the thought of never getting to see the sun...or maybe I just have to much of an imagination...?"

So...yep. That's where I'm at right now...perhaps this was a nudge in a direction...guess we'll see. 

The Bean*

*(I have now seen The Bean, one of Chicago's great works of modern architecture I am told...but secretly I'm pretty sure it's an idol to the Americans love of coffee...see for yourself. ;) )

Emily Michael's Ruby Red Slippers

That's right, I bought them. After about two years of eyeing these red beauties I finally broke down and purchased them. I know, I know, these "TOMS" are the current shoes of the modern 'Hipster'...but I am NOT a hipster (that's what they all say...but believe me...I'm not.) But even if I were, even if I would be buying them in an effort to conform to nonconformity and to look cute, the fact that somewhere in the world another person is receiving a brand new pair of shoes simply because I bought this pair kinda trumps the cuteness and nonconformist factor. Of all the 'fads' to follow...this one really isn't the worst. And I figured after two years, since I haven't stopped secretly wanting them, I should just break down and get them or else I'll walk around for another two years looking at pictures, sighing heavily, and annoying my family.

And as it turns out, Febuary 3rd is National Wear Red day...or something of that nature, guess I'm covered. What'll you sporting?

This is my Therapy

"And you're kept in an open cage, So you're free to leave or stay.Sometimes you get confused, Like there's a hint I am trying to give you."

"talking bird" by Death  Cab For Cutie

Poorly drawn picture...by me.

I believe I've mentioned before about how much I love road trips, and have joked about having a touch of gypsy blood in me. I've expressed my restlessness of being in one place for too long (even though I always come back home.) I've talked about my longing for adventure and how I've made due by trekking through the rain and creating crazy story plots inside my head. 
And so...I find myself yet again feeling those stirring desires in my heart to go on an adventure and travel far far away...
I thought about it for a while, weighed my options, bounced thoughts and opinions off of close friends, prayed, and drank more than my outrageously large quota of coffee. 


The fact is, I still have no job. Let me reword that. I have no stationary job. No salon to call 'home', and not because there's a lack of salons or opportunities. When the Velvet Touch and I parted ways, somewhere in me, I felt peace. It was an odd and unexpected thing to feel upon losing a job. 
An opportunity for a stylist position in another salon arose, and I pursued it, but something about it just didn't feel right. It's hard to explain, but I couldn't shake it. Nothing came from this pursued position. But here's the beauty of it. My job doesn't have to be stationary! I can take it with me wherever I go...which means I can travel :) 


And so, after some deliberation, I have decided to go on my adventure. Finally. 
I have nothing that's holding me here. I have no salon to report to. No major responsibilities to look after. No relationships tying me down. So, I ask myself, why not? 


I've got a lot on my mind, and I'm a curious soul. Travel is a therapy to me. Staring out a window, watching the world pass by at blurring speeds, my mind seems to process things clearly. And so, I've purchased a train ticket, and next Sunday I begin my journey. To where? The Midwest. Kansas City, Missouri. Why? Because I have good friends out there (They're in the middle of an adoption, check them out and see how you can help contribute HERE!), and they belong to a church that I've been wanting to visit.


And so, I'm running away. Because I can. 

"I never thought I'd be driving through the country just to drive

With only music and the clothes that I woke up in

I never thought I'd need all this time alone it goes to show

I had so much yet I had need for nothing

But you

This is just therapy

Let's call it what it is

(Not what we were)

With a death-grip on this life always transitioning

This is just therapy

Cause you won't take my calls

and that makes God the only one who's left here listening to me

Letting it all sink in

It's good to feel a sting now and again

I hope it's one less woeful thing there is to fight through

Forgetting it all begin

Fresh paper and nice expensive pen

The past can not subtract a thing from what I might do

For you

Unless that's what I let it do

Loneliness and solitude are two things not to get confused

Cause I spend my solitude with you

I gather all the questions of the things I just can't get straight

And I answer them the way I guess you'd do

Cause this is my therapy

Cause you're the only one that's listening to me

This is my therapy

Let's call it what it is not what we were

With a death-grip on this life that's in transition

This is my therapy

Cause you won't hear me out

and that makes God the only one who's left here listening"

I tend to sing this when I start to get restless and need a road trip...so, on a pretty regular basis.