I'm going on an adventure

Hey guys,
for those who are still following me somewhat, I am pretty much moving over to a different  location. You can continue to follow the adventures of my life as I adapt to being a wife, a kitty mother, a crafter, coffee drinker, and island explorer on my new blog: http://coffeegrindgirl.blogspot.com
Hope to see you there.

Life Changes

So I'm sitting here making breakfast in my new kitchen thinking about how everything is so different now. Different from last month, and different from when this blog started. Life has changed, big time.

And though I haven't been on here that much, I think I might make more regular appearances now that there is a little bit more free time in my life. And maybe, just maybe, change some stuff up on the blog, too...maybe...

Time didn't stop...

Yesterday we were up before 5:00am so that we could drop off our Coastie at the airport. Poor guy was supposed to land in Portland around noon(their time. about 3 our time) but got stuck in chicago for like 2hours while they changed a tire on his plane. 

I started my summer with goodbyes and tears, and I ended it the same way. Gregory if off on the complete opposite side of the country, getting ready to sail up and down from Alaska to South America and all over, and this will be his life for the next 9mo or so until he leaves for a-school. I really am very excited for him and this grand new adventure. So much of this new chapter is still a bit of a mystery to him. A lot of questions have been answered with "I don't know yet." "They can't tell me." "I'll find out when I get there."  And the questions keep coming! Only now that G's gone they are all asked of me to answer on his behalf....and I have no clue.   

I feel barraged and smothered with inquiries from both people who are not close but just curious, and my own family members. No words have been exchanged between us in over 15hrs, and I'm not even sure when they will be.  I can not guarantee that the next person to ask me when I'm moving to Astoria, OR, or when I'm getting married will not be punched in the face...or cried at. or both.  I'm an emotional time bomb who hasn't yet had a chance to cry this time...so watch out. 

Now that she's back in the atmosphere...

Well, I'm back. And boy, what a trip...

It was an adventure. I relaxed. I ran around. Had some nice late night talks curled up at the kitchen table with a mug of tea. Had some crazy days spent hurrying here and there, never staying in the same place for more than a couple hours. I hung out with old friends, feeling like family. I met crazy awesome new people. I spent about 50 hours of my life on a train and am now pretty familiar with Amtrak...there and back I had a lay over in Chicago, and so was privileged to roam around the beautiful Windy City with 3 amazing dudes.

I left with little expectations, hoping to maybe just quiet my soul, listen to God, and visit my friends...and if God happened to nudge me in any direction, that would be awesome too.
I returned with a lot to think about.
While I was there opportunities arose. Internships came up. Chances to shadow at salons. As well as missions opportunities.

And ever since I got back a feeling has been growing in me...something that's always been there that now is spreading. I've never really been able to describe it, and it's frustrating. But the other night I was having a conversation with one of my best friends. One of those conversations that fall under the "If I don't get out of here soon I'll be stuck here for the rest of my life, that I don't know what I'm doing with anyways" category...I'm sure you have those all the time...

We talked about jobs. We talked about monotonous life. We talked about restlessness...We talked about senioritis.


Finally I tried to put this feeling that I had into words and it came out like this:

"...Do you ever get that feeling like...let's see if I can describe it - 

like, you were made for something more? That growing up, finishing school and getting a job and routine just wasn't what was intended for you? That you were created, not for something mundane and monotonous, but for something truly breathtaking and extraordinary? Cause...that seems to be how I feel. And like that desire for the extraordinary is trying to claw it's way out...like it's suffocating at the thought of never getting to see the sun...or maybe I just have to much of an imagination...?"

So...yep. That's where I'm at right now...perhaps this was a nudge in a direction...guess we'll see. 

The Bean*

*(I have now seen The Bean, one of Chicago's great works of modern architecture I am told...but secretly I'm pretty sure it's an idol to the Americans love of coffee...see for yourself. ;) )

This is my Therapy

"And you're kept in an open cage, So you're free to leave or stay.Sometimes you get confused, Like there's a hint I am trying to give you."

"talking bird" by Death  Cab For Cutie

Poorly drawn picture...by me.

I believe I've mentioned before about how much I love road trips, and have joked about having a touch of gypsy blood in me. I've expressed my restlessness of being in one place for too long (even though I always come back home.) I've talked about my longing for adventure and how I've made due by trekking through the rain and creating crazy story plots inside my head. 
And so...I find myself yet again feeling those stirring desires in my heart to go on an adventure and travel far far away...
I thought about it for a while, weighed my options, bounced thoughts and opinions off of close friends, prayed, and drank more than my outrageously large quota of coffee. 


The fact is, I still have no job. Let me reword that. I have no stationary job. No salon to call 'home', and not because there's a lack of salons or opportunities. When the Velvet Touch and I parted ways, somewhere in me, I felt peace. It was an odd and unexpected thing to feel upon losing a job. 
An opportunity for a stylist position in another salon arose, and I pursued it, but something about it just didn't feel right. It's hard to explain, but I couldn't shake it. Nothing came from this pursued position. But here's the beauty of it. My job doesn't have to be stationary! I can take it with me wherever I go...which means I can travel :) 


And so, after some deliberation, I have decided to go on my adventure. Finally. 
I have nothing that's holding me here. I have no salon to report to. No major responsibilities to look after. No relationships tying me down. So, I ask myself, why not? 


I've got a lot on my mind, and I'm a curious soul. Travel is a therapy to me. Staring out a window, watching the world pass by at blurring speeds, my mind seems to process things clearly. And so, I've purchased a train ticket, and next Sunday I begin my journey. To where? The Midwest. Kansas City, Missouri. Why? Because I have good friends out there (They're in the middle of an adoption, check them out and see how you can help contribute HERE!), and they belong to a church that I've been wanting to visit.


And so, I'm running away. Because I can. 

"I never thought I'd be driving through the country just to drive

With only music and the clothes that I woke up in

I never thought I'd need all this time alone it goes to show

I had so much yet I had need for nothing

But you

This is just therapy

Let's call it what it is

(Not what we were)

With a death-grip on this life always transitioning

This is just therapy

Cause you won't take my calls

and that makes God the only one who's left here listening to me

Letting it all sink in

It's good to feel a sting now and again

I hope it's one less woeful thing there is to fight through

Forgetting it all begin

Fresh paper and nice expensive pen

The past can not subtract a thing from what I might do

For you

Unless that's what I let it do

Loneliness and solitude are two things not to get confused

Cause I spend my solitude with you

I gather all the questions of the things I just can't get straight

And I answer them the way I guess you'd do

Cause this is my therapy

Cause you're the only one that's listening to me

This is my therapy

Let's call it what it is not what we were

With a death-grip on this life that's in transition

This is my therapy

Cause you won't hear me out

and that makes God the only one who's left here listening"

I tend to sing this when I start to get restless and need a road trip...so, on a pretty regular basis.

Cup art

Recently, there has been an outbreak of penned art on plain white paper coffee cups. In a recent visit up to my bro's college, a bunch of us gathered for coffee and proceeded to take out empty and used white cups back to our friend's dorm where she, an art major, then handed out pens and crayons and markers. We sat and had ourselves an art session. My brother, however, left his cup blank, informing me I could doodle what I'd like and joked about giving it to him as a Christmas gift....well I did. And today, I present to you my freshly finished (as of 10 minutes ago) product.

Cups: black india ink pen - pre color.














Ok, now for another 360, post coloring.

Cup: black India ink pen + water color paints (:

Hello, my name is Emily, and I'm an addict.

"And on the eighth  day, God created coffee."

Ok,  I'm not a crazy addict. I just have a bit of a caffeine problem... When I was little, I adored the scent of my mother's steaming morning coffee and would always try a sip, only to crinkle my nose and pretend that it tasted good. She drank it black, no sugar. And to a four year old, that's an intense way to be introduced to the stuff. As I got older, and persevered through the bitterness, I started to acquire a taste for the dark liquid. I started drinking it because I liked it. And now....without a couple cups in the a.m. I go through the day in a fog, feeling like a zombie with eyes on fire. It's been years since I've experienced a caffeine buzz, or remember what it's like. Now, I drink it to feel more human, without it I am grumpy, tired, and walk around squinting my eyes because they feel like they are going to burn out of my head...and because it still tastes so good!

And now, I am going to be an enabler. Forgive me.
 I have a recipe to share with all of my caffeine dependent, bloggy friends, I found it in the food section of my local newspaper. Super easy, reasonably cheap. Serves about four.

Winter Spice cafe' latte

• 3/4 cup of ground coffee
• 1 tsp. ground cinnamon (or more, depending on your taste)
• 3 cups cold water
• 1 can (14 oz.) Sweetened condensed milk
• whipped cream

Mix the cinnamon and the ground coffee together. Brew coffee as usual - I use a french press most of the time, but the brewing method isn't specific.

Pour sweetened condensed milk into a large coffee pot or a 1 1/2 quart pitcher. Add freshly brewed coffee and stir until thoroughly blended.

Pour into eclectic cafe' mugs and top with whipped cream. Sprinkle some extra cinnamon on top if you feel really fancy. Serve immediately.

I suppose you could also turn this into a frappacino-like drink if you were to let the brew cool then add to a blender filled with around 2c. ice cubes and a splash of milk or cream. Then top it with whatever decadence you desire.

I made this last night and it tasted like a coffee house concoction. That is to say, pretty darn good. REALLY rich though, and VERY sweet. Definitely a dessert type of drink. Feel free to play around with coffee::sweetened milk ratios, as well as different spices like nutmegs or cloves. I  think I'd use more coffee and less milk next time.

Let me know if you try it!

Tell me I'm not crazy, well maybe just a little bit....

I am pleased to say that autumn is here. And I gladly welcome it with open arms, steaming coffee, and comfy hoodies. Late September through early November continue to be my favorite months, and Fall my favorite season. The change is so tangible, expressed through colors, and smells, it refuses to be ignored. I find that my imagination goes wild as my senses explore this magnificent transformation.


Being a part-time employed gal, missing her brother, with some time on her hands and errands to do, I found myself adventuring through neighboring towns yesterday. Purchasing chemicals, picking up job applications, making bank runs, and visiting one of my favorite places in the world: the library. 


There I returned all my books, and went to find some new world to delve into. Success, I think. I left the great hall of literature with only two books in my bag this time, I had learned my lesson on over ambitious amounts of reading with lack of time to do so, and was intrigued by the story line of my new companions. (Happenstance Found, by P.W. Catanese, an author who apparently lives in CT, and The Wednesday Wars, by Gary D. Schmidt an author who does not live in CT ;)


I pushed through the double doors out into the gray, damp world of downtown Manchester. And as I made my way to my parallel parked car, leather boots sloshing through puddles, something about the whimsical plot of Happenstance tickled a corner of my brain....I pondered it the rest of the day as I listened to the pitter patter of rain on the windowpanes. Finally my imagination got the better of me. I grabbed an old notebook filled with loose papers and a tale of epicness in the the making,(a little story I had long since put down and nearly forgotten about) set up camp in my garage, and prepared for a walk in the rain.


 With leather boots laced up and a heavy barn jacket I strolled up towards my cul-de-sac. The street was deserted and lit by four or five dim lamps. The air was pleasantly fresh, and I lifted my face towards the sky inviting the rain to soak me. It may sound terribly odd, but trudging through dark streets in the rain can be quite invigorating. As I traveled up the street my mind went on many adventures. So many stories, so many possibilities. 


Returning to my garage I slouched down in a canvas chair, notebook in my lap, doors wide open, the sound of rain and chill of mist floating through. I sat there for the next hour familiarizing myself with old friends, and reconstructing new and exciting plot lines. Thinking up all sorts of adventures that I wish I could have. Once or twice my father came out with looks of confusion, amusement, and what may have been concern for my sanity. I was inspired. Blame it on the weather. Blame it on my new pair of scruffy leather boots. Blame it on boredom, or a lack of adventure. Blame it on my lunacy. I don't care. I had fun. 

I escaped for just a little bit, and it was most refreshing to do so.

Being Still, and Knowing...

Well hello there, land of bloggers. I come to you with a mind overflowing with wonderings. Within the past two weeks I have found myself to be befuddled with emotions, and thoughts. My brother graduated last weekend and will be leaving us in a couple months. I will be sad losing him to college, we are very close and I will miss his humor and company greatly. There is friend drama, as always, that leaves me confused and drained as I try to figure out where exactly I stand in all of it....And work....always work.

I was blessed with an amazing imagination and love of dreaming, but sometimes I wish I could just stop thinking. I've shared my frustrations and confusion with some of my closest friends.

Feeling vulnerable, and sharing what's really on my mind is not something I'm used to. I have this rather dangerous tendency to pretend that everything is fine on my end. Shutting emotions and troubles away in a box deep in the back of my mind. But I can only talk to my friends so much before I feel like I am vomiting the same conversations on them over and over and over! (Sorry for that mental picture....although, if you are picturing physical letters of the alphabet raining down on my friends, then by all means laugh...)

*thank you everyone who has visited me at the salon in the past two weeks, btw. You guys are awesome!

With all this rolling around in my head, becoming tangled and more confusing as it gets analyzed over and over, I have found myself mentally writing psalms, drinking way more coffee than is probably healthy(which probably isn't slowing my brain down at all) and spending vast amounts of time sitting on a very special couch that is living on my porch. This couch is a glider that has been around circa 1930? maybe earlier. As far as I know it has spent most of it's life rocking back and forth on the porch of the Upper Clubhouse, an ancient building in the middle of Harriman state park in upstate New York, until two years ago when the owners of one of the appartments in the upper clubhouse decided they wanted it thrown away. WHAT! But you can't have camp without the glider!

We came back to camp one evening to discover the huge wrap around porch empty of this nostalgic piece. My brother, who works as part of the maintenance team, informed us of it's relocation to the dumpster. I was upset. I loved this glider! I was ready and willing and trying to convince my family to drive down there and load it up in our van and drive home with it in the dead of night! We totally would've been able to get it home and be back before 4am....if we left 'now'.... My father wasn't really thrilled with my spontaneous plans for adventure, and told me to let it go...but with my ardent arguing I had planted ideas in the mind of my mother. So....we went to bed, I slept in the kitchen...or was it the common room....and woke up to find that my father's mind had been changed... So, my mother and I prepared for a quick escape. We loaded up the skeleton of the glider, much to the pleasure of some of the older camp members who had also grown up with the couch and hated to see it thrown away, and took off to home. We met my grandparents half way and they took it back to our house. The two of us were back at camp before late afternoon, both of us beaming with excitement for what would be waiting to greet us at home.

Yes. I stole the camp glider.

...It makes me wonder what now sits on the porch of this enormous old house that sits atop the hill that overlooks more or less the entire grounds of Camp K-20, a family camp that has been around for about 100 years.

My family and I have had the privilege of hiding out there for a couple weeks each summer for 6 or 7 consecutive years. Last year we couldn't go because of my school schedule, and we hope to at least chill for a weekend there this summer if we can.

But when you're up there, it's like you're hidden from the rest of the world. It's wonderful. It's quiet and peaceful and such an escape. (Escapeeeee'....that's funny, it's spelled just like 'escape'!) And it's a place where you do a lot of crazy stuff, reckless stuff, fun stuff, and a lot of thinking...No one seems to really care where you go, as long as you wander into the kitchen when you're hungry. Tabs aren't really kept, and there's a vast amount of freedom. (Probably because there's not too much trouble you can get into up there...) But on rainy days, the whole camp shuts itself away and becomes silent. People nap, sneak away to the 'real world' aka - walmart, or, if you're one of the lucky few who owns a tv up there, you watch movies. Me? I liked to make a cup of hot coffee, grab one of my dad's big comfy sweatshirts, and gently sway back and forth on the glider.

Something about being alone, inhaling the wet air, watching the rain fall while being sheltered by the porch roof, it was peaceful, calming. I felt like I was sitting there, alone but not alone, with my chest ripped open and my heart exposed. Everything in my confused mind made sense as I looked out over a hill covered in wild blueberry bushes and ancient forestry.

And right now, I wish I could escape' to that. I guess, it's what I call "Being still, and knowing."

But I guess I'll just content myself with another cuppa coffee, maybe some poetry, and a gentle sway on the glider as I be still and know some more...

You may say that I'm a dreamer

I'm a strange person. Part of what makes my personality so strange are the dreams that I have. Ever since I was little I've had these crazy dreams. Being babysat by evil creatures that belonged in Dr. Seuss books, being a pink robot and scaling a dangerous, snow-covered mountain in the middle of summer, getting married in the grocery store (reception immediately to follow in the swimmng pool....), my mother driving on the wrong side of the road with hamsters running around in our car, going to the set of LOTR just to find out that the Ents are made of twigs and Frodo owed his acting career to my family....Or, my personal favorite: The youth of America is kidnapped and forced to live and work for a secret society of Elephants with world domination on the brain, all living in a purlieu underground city beneath NYC....

Yes, you may say that I'm a dreamer. To say that I have an over-active imagination would be a vast(and insulting) understatement.
It has become apparent that I am just a creative and passionate person. If I'm not creating beautiful things with my hands, I'm daydreaming about road tripping, picnicing, house building, dress designing, music writing(something I can't do but wish I could), world traveling, coffee drinking, book writing, running around in disguises, planning the perfect crime, solving a dasterdly deed, and all around being spontaneous....And it would appear that the things I don't physically get to do play out mentally for me at night...no matter what it is I did that day, what I may have eaten late-late at night, I dream bizarre and wonderful dreams.

Someday I think I'll fill a book with all these peculiar thoughts that meander like a restless wind through my brain....it's a dream of mine ;)

Coffee Shop Romance

It is a daydream of mine to have a date in a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop. Somewhere artsy, and eclectic. To sit there in comfy chairs tucked away in a corner, holding hot drinks in our hands. Spending hours talking, chatting, smiling, dreaming, reading, enjoying each other until the world outside of the windows has gone dark, and any dredges of our drinks are cold. It's a simple day dream. Not impossible. But very pleasent. Then I found this music video...and it made me smile.

Can I have coffee?

Today I brewed my last cup of coffee. I have been watching my supply of Starbucks House Blend deplete day after day, but have procrastinated in replenishing my stock...
Now I have no coffee...